I really do feel awful a lot, just generally not worth anyone’s time and like I am destroying everything I touch, mostly my own future. I feel so lazy and lonely and like no one will ever take me seriously because I am so awkward and panicky inside around people that I just talk about stupid random shit and never anything important. I feel like a fraud and a waste of life and like I’ll always be outshined by everyone, will never accomplish much and don’t deserve to be me.
Schlagwort: negative
What do I have to look back on? And what will I have to look back on? Currently doesn’t feel like much.
I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn’t have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn’t make for an interesting person. I didn’t want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.
Charles Bukowski (via k-barks-blog)
The Light in the Sky 