Achter September 2013

Und die guten Dinge sind beinahe am schlimmsten, denn sie sind nichts als eine Illusion. Sie sind nicht gut. Sie wirken nur gut, weil sie das sind, was du kennst. Das Normale. Alles, was übrig geblieben ist. Aber sie sind nicht gut. Sie waren nie gut, du hast das nur nie bemerkt.

Jetzt hast du die Wahrheit gesehen und wünschtest, du könntest vergessen.

Aber einen Gedanken kann man nunmal nicht töten, hm?

Und jetzt musst du damit leben, willst nicht als sterben, findest aber selbst das sinnlos, würdest am liebsten alles und jeden mitreißen – was unmöglich ist – und hättest jetzt gern eine große Menge gedankenbetäubender Substanzen.

So in etwa geht es mir, seit exakt dem achten September 2013. Deshalb kann iich das Datum auch nicht vergessen. Der 08.09. war der Tag, an dem ich so dumm war, zu viel zu denken. Aber ich konnte nicht aufhören.

Wenn du die Basis infrage stellst UND SIE VERDAMMT NOCH MAL NICHT STANDHÄLT , was bleibt dir? Einen Grund unter deinen Füßen gibt es nicht. Halt gibt es nicht. Fliegen kannst du nicht. Du hängst in der Schwebe, wärend du dich innerlich selbst niederbrennst, du hasst ALLES um dich herum, willst es verbrennen wie dich selbst, aber du kannst dich nicht bewegen.

nextsummersseeds:

Bold what’s true about you

I am under 18. 
I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person. 
I am an only child.
I am currently in my pajamas.
I am currently pregnant.
I am left handed.
l am right handed.
I am ambidextrous.
I am a little shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I enjoy folk music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl.
I have all my grandparents.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor. 
I have or had broken a bone.
I have bathed someone.
I have changed a diaper.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have rejected someone before.
I like the taste of blood. 
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping. 
I love to shop.
I own 100 CDs or more.
I own and use a library card.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

I have/had:
Finished college.
Smoked cigarettes.
Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been broken up with.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced. 
Cried yourself to sleep. 
Spent over $200 in one day.
Cheated on someone. 
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Skipped school.
Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do. 
Stolen books from the library.
Been in a mental hospital. 
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. 
Fired a gun.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Attempted suicide.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe. (I live in Europe, does that count? But I have never left this continent)
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair.
Had something pierced.
Gotten straight A’s.
Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the color:
Light brown
Medium brown
Dark brown
Blond
Black
Dirty blond
Strawberry blond
Multicolored
Red

My eyes are:
Brown
Dark Brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Light brown

People sometimes label me as:
Slut
Boyish
Colorful
Ugly 
Nerd
Other 

Some of my biggest fears are:
Spiders/other insects
Slimy things
Dying
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Hospitals 
Needles
Disease
The dark
Heights
Small spaces
Oceans/large bodies of water
Large animals
Small animals 
Open spaces
Lightning
Tornadoes
Clustered holes
Bodily fluids
Corpses

I have:
A friend with benefits
A laptop in my room
Good grades
My own car
Parents who are still married
A dog
A cat
A game console

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/thelightinthesky/64118879353/tumblr_mnnzn4su0o1stezmv?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://thelightinthesky.tumblr.com/post/64118879353/audio_player_iframe/thelightinthesky/tumblr_mnnzn4su0o1stezmv?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fthelightinthesky%2F64118879353%2Ftumblr_mnnzn4su0o1stezmv

chaoslikesnoise:

I’ve been living in this darkness,

Setting light to my own home,

I’ve been praying for some company,

But I wanna be left alone,

I’ve been feeling lower lately,

But I’m still getting high,

Feeling pretty confident,

That I’m feeling shy,

I don’t know how to say,

That I don’t know how I feel today,

I need to go and stay,

With someone else by myself,

It’s a beautiful day tonight,

Am I coming? Going?

Left, wrong or right?

I’m feeling bad, alright?

I’m normally strange

I’ve been washing in the dirt

Just to get myself clean,

I’m blinded by the horrific things

That I’ve never seen,

 Just a minute-

What am I even talking about?

I understand my confusion now,

I don’t know how to say

That I don’t know how I feel today,

I need to go and stay

With someone else, by myself,

It’s a beautiful day tonight,

Am I coming? Going?

Left, wrong or right?

I’m feeling bad, alright?

I’m normally strange.

 I should have stayed in bed today,

I should have stayed in bed today,

I should have stayed in bed today,

I should have stayed in bed today!

I think Star Trek The Motion Picture was better than the criticism it gained.

The creators did a really good job leaving the viewers just as clueless about what was going on as the Enterprise crew.

Also, the chemistry between Kirk, Spock and McCoy was even more interesting than usually and in my opinion, V’Ger had a seriously fascinating concept.

Yeah, I know, I should not make reviewing movies a major part of my life.

These seem to be the only pictures I have of Pokemon Day, but it was so amazing! Especially since I have been wanting to go there for about eight years.

The cosplayers were seriously impressive (big shout out to Spiritomb, Umbreon and Yveltal)! So was the Yveltal in the first photo.

Also, I own a plush Pikachu now.

https://bandcamp.com/stream_redirect?enc=mp3-128&track_id=3954418340&ts=1544269119&t=6b6d88cef86949af0acdf48a22ccd03fc11fae75?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/size=medium/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/notracklist=true/transparent=true/album=2326565342/

toughluckkidband:

Check out our Debut EP ‘VIllains’ It’s available to download for free!

Reblog and share if you like it guys it would mean a lot!

http://toughluckkid.bandcamp.com/album/villains-ep

Follow us on facebook and keep updated 🙂

http://www.facebook.com/Toughluckkiduk

Seriously, check them out, they are brilliant!