w. – Seite 8 – The Light in the Sky

Do you agree my dashboard ships them?

Wow, so the first result for my name on Google Images is my hand hovering over a painted woman’s naked body.

I’ve been having disturbingly graphic visions of physical violence for the past few days. They usually strike me out of nowhere, with no reason or warning at all, and while I would usually see inanimate objects or dead bodies being torn into pieces, impaled on blunt or very sharp objects, burned or being drowned in acid, I now see myself. I hear my chest being cracked open, I feel every ice-cold shaft piercing my torso, I see my legs being torn off my body, I taste the floods of blood coming out of the gaping holes in my flesh and my cut throat. I experience dying in unwordly pain, I smell the burning air after a lightning strikes me and I am brought back to life and then I gain consciousness again and grasp for air.

What disturbs me the most is that I enjoy those visions.

Favourite thing.

This is what I am reading at the moment.

I don’t even speak French.

Posting that painfully long lifestory-rant-thing has helped me a lot.

I feel so incredibly positive at the moment, I doubt I could lose this attitude anytime soon.

I don’t exactly know how this happened, but it’s relieving.

This body is a prison and there is no way out.

This body is a prison and why do I even care?

This body is a prison and my screams stay unnoticed.