Schlagwort: w.

Lintu was a lightweight, all birdlike and restless. Constantly in motion, he thrived in the echo of nighttime storms. In bright daylight however, he would reach for the sun, burning his imaginative emerald feathers. He owned a voice, but disliked it, so sing and crawk was what he did instead. Wings as true as his imagination were his desire and it burnt him; one day, desiring would be his death, that sureness grew in his fluttering heart. Deep down under every hungry breath he took in lust for life and living, his faith would crumble and so his feathers soon turned dusty and perpetual motion became stumbling on the ground of reality. The blazing fire high up in the sky ridiculed him and devouring it was what he dreamed of in feverish fury. Lintu was a lightweight, but angry and haunted by a viscious demon on soundless wings. One day, Lintu had enough and he reached for the sun, relying on wings as false as his imagination, but it was alright and a first bitter laugh then became his redemption and would ultimately free him from his lust for the life he desired but could never reach.

Okay, so … there’s this guy.

Except I don’t do this kind of stuff.

But he’s … interesting to say the least.

Actually, it’s all I can say, since I barely even know him at all.

I don’t develop curiosity for people. I certainly don’t crush on them.

Especially not on boys.

Ugh, this is so confusing.

I think the hardest thing about recovering is probably that in the end, you are all alone.

No matter how many people offer you their support, in the end, it all comes down to you.

Recovering means letting go of things that used tobe your daily routine – you cannot rely on them anymore.

Recovering means rediscovering yourself, at least for me it does. I won’t find security in my self-destructive rituals anymore. I am all alone.

While surprisingly, I have been feeling insanely happy for most of my time recovering, there obviously is this huge insecurity, like the one a child feels while learning how to ride a bike.

I feel insecure, but I know the outcome is going to be worth it, so I will keep going strong.

My old self is growing stronger and stronger and finally I am truly able to see myself again.

I am happy, I am strong, I am aware.

Even though I might have to go through this on my own, that doesn’t mean I cannot do it.

Alone does not mean lonely, for I have found myself again.