Briefe in die Leere

An den Raben aus der Ferne,

der Schlag deiner Flügel war mein Herzschlag, weißt du? Nein, wie auch.

Aber es zerreißt mir das Herz, niemals mit dir so sprechen zu können, denn ich habe dich zu einem allumfassenden Wunschtraum stilisiert, dem ich selbst niemals je gerecht werden kann.

Es ist jetzt zu spät. Meine letzte Chance ist jetzt vertan. “Lebwohl”, würde ich sagen, aber gibt es einen Abschied, ohne dass es jemals ein Treffen gegeben hat?

Einseitigkeit ist das Problem, ich weiß, ich weiß. Schlage ruhig weiter mit den Flügeln, vielleicht kann ich mit dir fliegen.

Grüße, leere Worte

Wiebke

Being lonely

I listen, I adopt, I react.

If I speak, if I share, if I initiate – I get ignored.

Is it me who cares too much or is it them who don’t care enough?

Having no solution for anything, I barely even know the question I want to answer. Meanwhile, I am chasing the same old ghost, caught up in an idea of a perfect world which is a lie, refusing to acknowledge my emptiness.

Abende wie heute sind es, die mich wieder mal erkennen lassen, dass mich niemand wirklich braucht.

I kind of really like the way my exhausted eyes look.

CAE was actually rather … easy? Well, my essay could have been better, the same goes for the Speaking part, but otherwise it wasn’t particularly difficult.

Okay, so I am going to be away for two days because I have to go all the way to Hannover for the second part of my Cambridge Advanced Exam (I have already done the oral exam two weeks ago).

And again I have failed to put posts into my queue, but the perks of being an unpopular blog are that nobody cares too much whether you are gone for a day or a week or maybe two, so yeah, see you Wednesday evening or onThursday probably.

Call it creativity, call it boredom.

I have fallen head over heels in love with Pushing Daisies and I don’t regret anything.

The music I listen to has become particularly sad and dramatic again.

Embrace the sadness while it lasts, right? Waiting for the sleep that won’t heal.

I’m so fucking tired because I haven’t been able to properly sleep for weeks now. Something’s chasing me out of my dreams every morning, no matter how exhausted I still am. I wake up at the break of dawn, still half asleep, but with my mind wide awake and hostile, so that I am not only in a bad condition physically, but also mentally. I am moody and sad at the same time, which annoys me so much that I write text posts about it.