Nevermind…

Drowning my feet in acid and missing the sound of fireworks exploding in the sky has always been my favourite way of spending the night anyway -.-

I guess that means giving up, hm?

Or just wait a litlle longer and watch things happen and develop, selfishly waiting for my chance…

Apparently it is something I suck at.

I think I am getting used to this.

I really need to have a talk with someone.

I feel so sick and anxious and I think I might even throw up soon, but I am LITERALLY not able to move because I am THAT anxious.

My body is shaking terribly, it does not do what I want it to do, all I am capable of now is typing like crazy and listen to my irregular heartbeat.

I cannot get help.

Everything I thought I had left behind is coming back in these very minutes.

Scheiße, ich mache mir solche Sorgen.

Es kann nicht sein, oder? Nicht nach allem, was sie gesagt hat…

Fragen? Nein. Ich kann sowas nicht. Ich bin ja selbst schon überfordert.

Scheiße, ich weiß nicht, was ich machen soll…!

I tend to see centipedes creeping in the shadows right next to me everytime I’m half-halluzinating.

I haven’t decided whether to be alarmed or relieved about this…

run a restaurant.

And apparently all they have to do on Saturday evenings is playing Schlager on the top of their speakers (no idea where they got those from btw)

…

Must… stop… this! >_<

Nothing should last forever.