It felt necessary to write this down at some point.
I used to call myself an atheist. I called myself agnostic. I got interested in witchy stuff and buddhism. I stopped naming my connections to religion.
Last year, I wanted to leave the church. Then I discussed it with my flatmate who is studying medicine and realized that it is okay not to be an atheist.
I studied the basics of chemistry, physics, geology, biology, microbiology, the beginnings of the universe and the very basics of life itself, and now I cannot say I am a non-believer.
I was at a funeral today and for the very first time, some kind of religion was something that I agreed with, even if it was just a very small part.
So this means that I have learned that not believing does not make you more intelligent or superior and that science does not kill all potential for belief.
I am still critical of organised religion and the church, but now I understand how it helps and how people connect to it and how smart people can be religious.