get out of bed,
get dressed,
brush my teeth,
shower,
wrap her present,
get up again,
get ready,
leave home,
attend that party,
be forced to talk to all
those so-called friends,
pretend to be fine,
pretend to be happy,
laugh,
eat their disgusting food,
sit in the corner on my own,
be forced to dance,
embarass myself,
say stupid things,
make everybody pity me,
be a nervous wreck for hours,
be photographed while eating,
be photographed while doing anything,
turn as beet red as everyday,
compare myself to them,
not be able to scream in despair,
want to run away,
be burned by self loathing again.