I am getting so nervous-
I would almost say
I am close to paniccing
But that’s not what it feels like.
Restless. I am restless.
Despair. I am close to it.
What do you call this state of mind?
I don’t know.
Do I want to know?
Do I need to know?
No is the answer to both.
But I am restless,
So I desperately look for something
I can occupy myself with.
Wich makes me even more nervous.
She has to answer that mail, she has to answer, has to answer now.
…
I have finally written a mail to my school’s counseling teacher, but she doesn’t answer.
That’s why I am nervous.
You know, if the appointment I am trying to make with her was for me, I wouldn’t need to hurry. But it is not for me.
I hate that. My friend’s wellbeing depends on my teacher’s answer to a mail that was sent by me and I am just standing in between the teacher and my friend (figuratively of course)
As I said, I am nervous.
But at least I have done something, and that’s already a lot more than what I usually do which is nothing.
It is the waiting that makes me so nervous, not the responsibility.
The Light in the Sky 