1. Never use the word fat in a derogatory way. Avoid media that does.

2. Never imply that you can’t do something or wear something because of your size (“oh, not with these thighs!”)

3. Never compliment others based on size (how many times is “you look so thin!” the ultimate compliment?)

4. Point out the beauty of diversity in people and nature – nurture the idea that beauty is diversity. I love to say “what would the word be if all the flowers looked the same?”

5. Avoid making physical activity about size or based on what you ate (“I have to jog off that cake”). Physical activity should be joyful.

6. Do not label foods as “good” and “bad”

7. Offer a variety of foods and model moderate indulgence and a wide consumption of foods. Eating should be joyful.

8. Don’t make your kids eat if they say they aren’t hungry1. The refrain “finish your dinner!” should be stricken from the mommy lexicon. Better to let them trust their bodies than feel guilt about wasting food.

9. Don’t deny your kids food if they say they are hungry. Another area where we often ignore our kids opinions and feelings. Try to make your pantry a “yes” pantry with a variety of healthy options that your kids can eat when they want.

10. Never comment on the amount (too little or too much) that your kids eat.

11. NEVER use food as a reward, incentive, or punishment! (this is SO abused among parents!!)

12. Guard your children against negative body-image media – stop your subscriptions to women’s mags, don’t watch Biggest Loser, Toddler and Tiaras (focusing on appearance), and any variety of shows promoting appearance as a route to happiness.

13. Avoid talking about a nutrionalist approach to food – disassembling “food” into fat, carbs, calories, and other things that need to be obsessed about and counted (difficult since it is explicitly taught in many schools).

14. Encourage alternative means of self-esteem besides appearance – spirituality, values, empathy, effort, etc.

15. Volunteer! It is much harder to think of something so superficial as size in the face of true plight.