Schlagwort: d

I woke up with a metallic taste in my mouth, went over to the bathroom and had to spend seven minutes just spitting blood into the sink. And all morning it was incredibly cold and I was so tired that I actually started to cry in school. Woo. Go me. Then I fell asleep in class. My friend woke me up after fifteen minutes though, and I felt a lot better after that. So I guess after all, the day has been nice? But I accidentally ignored a bunch of messages from yesterday and won’t be able to answer them very soon, so … sorry about that.

I don’t want to


get out of bed,
get dressed,
brush my teeth,
shower,
wrap her present,
get up again,
get ready,
leave home,
attend that party,
be forced to talk to all
those so-called friends,
pretend to be fine,
pretend to be happy,
laugh,
eat their disgusting food,
sit in the corner on my own,
be forced to dance,
embarass myself,
say stupid things,
make everybody pity me,
be a nervous wreck for hours,
be photographed while eating,
be photographed while doing anything,
turn as beet red as everyday,
compare myself to them,
not be able to scream in despair,
want to run away,
be burned by self loathing again.