I am crushing on my Chemistry tutor and that’s weird considering it has only been four years since I told my friends how I thought I was a lesbian. Even though since then, I have come to the realization (multiple times actually) that I am bi (/pan/ whatever-ace, detailed labels are not not my thing), it’s still strange to acknowledge that. And of course it’s not that I am now only attracted to men! (or whatever). Hopefully, my flatmates – who I am not out to (although they should know that in theory (and in the past) I like(d) girls) – won’t think so! But I guess me crushing on a guy slightly older than me very much fits with their perception of me, which is similar to how I used to think of myself when I was fourteen.

And he is “my type” if I ever had one: a chemist, long dark hair kept in a halfway done ponytail, glasses and a beard, septum piercing, shirts of relatively old post hardcore bands, not much taller than me, slim (as in not broad or overly muscular) and a voice that I would listen to for hours on end. Also he is diligent, soft spoken and confident with a calming sense of humor, willing to put so much effort into his studies and us learning (so much!). And  he has laughed at what I said and has acknowledged my contributions. I feel like he values us and his work a lot. Also, he was so sorry for not having time to answer our questions the afternoon before the exam because he had made plans to go to an otter information centre (a collective “awwwww” was heard from the audience). And now I don’t know what to do about this situation. He will give another tutorial next semester, but I might be studying at a different university by then.

Soooo, what else is new? Apparently I’m into geology and chemistry now, also statistics. And I wish to be a tutor for statistics or (theoretical!) chemistry or physics at some point in the future.