Weird list of things that illogically feel completely unacceptable if I do them:

– talking about my negative feelings to others in a serious manner

– sitting in bed during the day

– laying down during the day

– sitting down when watching tv/ reading

– getting less than 20 minutes of exercise per day

– eating food that feels wrong in my hand

– that feels wrong for absolutely no reason

– eating pasta for lunch

– eating pizza on a normal day

– eating cooked meals

– eating normally

– actually being myself

– not being among the top 10 percent

– not being one of the very best

– getting something else than an A

– spending money on objects

– buying anything that isn’t the cheapest food

– talking to my parents about feelings

This list serves no other purpose than to archive for myself how weird and uncomfortable I feel each day.